sexually transmitted communications.

6 weeks into launching runningwiththeboys,  I considered pulling the plug on my blog, my baby, my creative outlet, all because of a snide comment or two.

I realised back when I was a product manager, that there were three things you needed to ask yourself when developing a new product:

1. Is it real?
2. Is there a need?
3. If there is not a need, is there a want so great that eventually this will become a need?

When it came to my blog, I answered a strong and astounding yes to it being real, and as for a need? This is open for debate but yes I do believe there is a need, and for those that didn’t believe it is a need, it is a want, it is word porn, smut, whatever you want to call it. And I believe  that this will eventually hook into a need. Like any good addiction. Dream big or not at all, right?

Despite this, I was at a crossroad, I needed advice, I had to go to Mr Dash. Mr. Dash is good like that, we bounce ideas off each other, for example, I had been summoned into his office, because he had received a mock up image from our marketing department, to be used for a very conservative client based in the midwest, and the image intact was two people sitting in beach chairs holding hands, all fine, but from the angle it looked like a lesbian couple. Which would have been fine if the client had been any other. Mr. Dash needed my opinion, yep, two women. Image vetoed.

Tit for tat, (quite literally) I needed some help, I told him I was thinking that maybe I should kill the blog as some folks are finding it a bit too ‘explicit’. His response was perfect: ‘What is the issue? Are they worried they are going to catch something sexually transmitted just by reading it?’

This is one of the many reasons why this man is my mentor whether he likes it or not.

His statement got me thinking, about the reality of sexually transmitted communications. They are out there, and unlike the STD’s, with STC’s, you can’t hightail it over to the clinic to get an ointment or like.

So what would be classified as a Sexually transmitted communication (STC)? Well lets make it a joint effort on this list, because come on, if you are reading the blog you’ve either entertained, taken part in or judged (haters gonna hate hate hate) the following:

• Sexting, this can really range from ‘thinking about you’, ‘what are you wearing?’ to situational, fantasies, the sky is the limit here, and never under estimate the power of a well written sext. Could be something simple, yet effective,  like I’m at a certain place and if you were here we wouldn’t be doing the status quo etc.
• SnapChatting… sans clothing. Like strip poker, but without the poker. I’m not sure whether to think a man or woman first came up with SnapChat. Regardless, I am sure they must have followed the three prong product rule of real, need, want. Sometimes I think it was a man, because men are visual, other times I’m sure it was a woman, the whole 10 second tease bit. But then there’s the whole notion of a screenshot. All of sudden that SnapChat lives forever and ever.
• Skype sex, FaceTime sex, and if you want to go old school, the classic phone sex route.
• Sending or receiving dick pics, boob pics, or getting right into it and going with the X rated homemade videos (Rick Solomon got nothing on you!)

My friends these are all STC’s. Now its no surprise here that men being the visual creatures they are prefer to be the recipients of the snapchats, are probably going to be the ones to initiate the Skype sex, and will ask at some point for a X rated pic/home video.

Women on the other hand would much prefer a well articulated sext, and in a survey of girlfriends, phone sex is preferred over the Skype route. Sorry guys. But we are trying to help you out here, honestly, the more you know the better you’ll do.

Regardless of the STC used, with every action comes a reaction right? So, what exactly are the consequences of STC’s if not an itch?

• Screenshots live forever, like forever ever
• Realising  while procrastini-studying or slacking at work,  while watching Liberace videos on YouTube, that your boobs just might be on the internet
• Being recognised on the street, or in the coffee shop, a ‘love your work’ and a ‘wink’ to follow (always have a disclaimer for your sexting partner -e.g. for your eyes only or else)
• Be prepared to be a topic of gossip among friends or co workers, regarding your alleged extra circular sextivities. Judgement about your war wounds, your bags under the eyes, sunglasses at daytime,  wearing the same outfit to work Monday morning, that you left Friday afternoon in (lets be honest, they were just jealous it was an all weekend date). And for the record it is not a walk of shame, if you are still smiling the next morning, have that glow and can’t stop giggling. You enjoyed yourself and there is no shame in that.
• And finally, actually realising that the power of a written naughty word, or a suggestive photo, may in fact be the butter, or bondage you needed to add a little bit of something to your status quo.

Caesar Cruz said ‘art should disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed’. Now I make no claims to be an artist, but in some circles writing, and now I am sure really good STC’s could be considered an art form.

This is why I decided to not kill the blog, and  I have come to take the less than stellar comments with the same lens I receive the good ones. Use your words, be conscious of both yours and your prospects wants and needs. Whats the fun if you’re not going to disturb the comfortable?