the exit strategy.

Up here in Canada, it is officially training season. That coveted time of year where there seems to be one run after another, and for us westcoasters the circuit tends to start in early spring with the Sun Run, then the 10km series, which of course leads into the BMO half and of course the mother beast the full marathon. This of course also results in injuries, and to mitigate these, runners alike find solstice in gentler activities, such as yoga, pilates and Sunday Netflix binging.

I had decided that as part of my cross training, I should take advantage of two of the three activities (yoga and Sunday Netflix binging). In true epiphany form which of course leads to blog material, I found myself in between full locust, a posture that most of us can’t wait to get out of once we are in it, we enter into in with gusto, sometimes forced, but once we are in it, it can be hell and we want out. Out of hell, and we really don’t care how we escape. In this particular class it was a double whammy, an Esther class.  So when Esther (everyone needs an Esther class) citied as we were all in between second set, that she had read a quote ‘relationships, yoga poses and jobs, should all be exited thoughtfully and carefully’ I perked up. So much truth in this.

Confronting because sometimes, we blow the exit. We’ve done everything right up until that point, and then we suck. We are so focused on making first impressions, leaving a mark, being the best, or an illusion of perfection.  You should always exit exactly how you entered, preferably swagger (if you have it) graceful, well dressed, present in the moment.

And if  not?

The exit might fall flat, be unmemorable, you end up with an injury, a dodgy knee, or even worse, you break a heart. And then this becomes cause for gossip, an urban legend that refuses to die, and you are the star player. Urban legends rule here, especially in relationships and workplaces, those who pulled the ultimate Houdini, or those who set up their desk for the day for a standard 9-5, and then left, like as in disappeared, never to be seen again, laptop, suit jacket and all left in the office, Months later to resurface in an office across the country. These are exits that are memorable for all the wrong reasons.

The other piece of the exit is how the receiving party responds. After my announcement last week, the white knight said he was held hostage after he had announced his exit at his past employer, to move over to a competitor. Held hostage for a whole two weeks. Painful, and unnecessary.

There are countless anecdotes online that an organisation will never be as good to you as they are in the beginning when they start to court you. Just like the beginning of a new relationship. When you are both on your best behaviour, in the honeymoon phase.

A good relationship, well no, a great relationship will, if it ends also have a lovely exit. And in the work world, with my exit, the respect, love and support was overwhelming. Further proving what a fantastic company they are and what an amazing bunch of coconuts the folks are.

Sometimes exits are inevitable, so if this is the case, what is harder, a poorly planned exit, or missing the exit all together? And staying on course, whether it be in a relationship, a job or a yoga pose,  on cruise control when in reality that is the last place you should be. So, you have to ask yourself if you’re willing to risk fumbling through an exit, or locking yourself into a long term something or other that isn’t serving you, or someone else, anymore.

We are continuously told to look forward, to keep our head up, to become uninterested in looking backwards because, as goal setters, we are in fact actually not heading that way. Don’t miss the exit, it is in front of you for a reason.  Exit with care, think of how  you want to be remembered. First impressions mean the world, but exits are even more significant.  The solution? Dress the part, be graceful, be deliberate, do not rush,  but do not linger, as they say, what is for you will never pass you by. And if that is the case, don’t pass it by either.

stranger danger.

I travel frequently. Shocking I know. Never saw it coming, did we? I’ve gotten very used to travelling alone, almost to the point where a couple of colleagues are thrown into the mix, it feels very unnatural. It is so easy to travel solo. So much so that it has on occasion during my year of firsts prompted me to indulge in some solo travelling for non business purposes. I know right? Stop, collaborate and listen.  This is luxury. You are on your own agenda. You don’t have to go do anything you don’t want to do. But of course, travelling solo for work, especially when you add flight delays, crowded airport lounges, sometimes you end up finding commordoary in a fellow traveller.

Then there are those who are the complete opposite, you know those who live and die by the code, stranger danger. Speak to no one whom you do not know, do not make eye contact. And under no circumstances do you travel solo.

A couple of weeks ago, I was on one of my frequent flight routes, which happens to be under an hour. You’re basically up in the air long enough for a water and a cookie, then the next thing you know you’re descending and the flight attendants are prying your half eaten cookie out of your hands. Anyway, I settle in next to my seat companion, both of us opening our respective padfolios and get to work. Meanwhile, in front of me a woman my age, starts panicking, pleading with a very elderly woman to please switch seats with her so she can sit next to her boyfriend. Basically ushering this woman to the back of the plane. The flight attendant sees this drama unfolding and calmly says with a resting bitch face, ma’am you know it is only a 5o minute flight? At this point the girl actually stomped her foot, she was throwing a proper temper tantrum.

Seriously? What would really be so bad about sitting next to a stranger? What would happen if you had a conversation or, just sat in silence next to someone you didn’t know What is it really that we are so afraid of?

Are we afraid of this person being a total psychopath?  And honestly, if they are, you might get a good post out of it (I once sat next to a guy that was a doppleganger for the unibomber). Or are we afraid of finding a connection? Again, a great story to share. The flip side, and I have to wonder if this was where Miss. Temper Tantrum was coming from, are we lacking in the amount of trust we have for our partner? Are we more worried about them being overtaken by the dangers of strangers? And in a bigger context are we afraid of love?  And more importantly,  are we afraid that what we have found or settled for is in fact not love, and now we have to either sit in misery, or deal with it. So which is scarier?

Again, maybe its me, I talk to strangers frequently, so much so that Nic actually pulled me aside in YVR for an intervention, citing she was worried that one day, in my solo work travels I just might actually be kidnapped. I responded with Russell Brand.